Make your Old PowerBook Scream (In Agony)

If anyone reads this column more than once it would be a shock. Not quite as shocking as Bigfoot hauling him or its fictional self out of the Great Northwest and running for a dog catcher, but right up there with William Shatner admitting he wears a rug. Still, supposing that I have a regular reader (there's always a chance; I understand some prisons are internet-enabled), this person may have noticed a subtle change in the columns lately.

Prepare To Be Assimilated

I've always been a little different. Maybe that's why I like Macs so much. When I say "a little different" I don't mean I invite folks over, kill one guest and dine on said victim a la Hannibal Lector. I mean, I don't drive a Camry. Sadly my "difference factor" may be eroding. In a year or so I could be driving a Camry, using copious amounts of mulch for my landscaping and booting up a Wintel.

Apple Won The First Time, And It's Already Over For X Versus XP

We are witnessing a new skirmish, Mac OS X versus Microsoft XP. I haven't used either; I couldn't tell OS X from XP on a bet. Still, it is seemingly reminiscent of the Mac OS versus DOS battle that happened a few years back. You remember: computers were just computers, and about 25 people actually had one. Then IBM got into the fray and Apple introduced the Mac. The stock price doesn't reflect it, most people won't admit it, but if you slow down for a moment you'll realize Apple beat the crap out of everyone else. Some might call a statement like that sacrilege; others might call it crazy talk.

Love Your Mac More for only $99.00!

I have always wanted to be a cartoonist. To me drawing funny pictures for big bucks seemed less like work and more like something you'd do to relieve boredom while you're at work.

The Evil Twin Syndrome

Anyone who has watched more than seventeen minutes of television is familiar with the evil twin plot device. Somewhere around the second or third season the writers are bereft of original plot ideas and reach into the emergency plot device notebook and pull out either the evil twin emergency story line or the super condition Critical clip show gimmick. You can't go to the evil twin school of plotting very often if you're hack writing your way through Hollywood, but once you do it's thankfully easy.

All Things iSpawned

I was walking through my local home improvement store looking for something flammable I could use to soak the rags I keep next to the water heater (because my house needs the kind of home improvement only an insurance company can provide) when I noticed a translucent stud finder. It was a compact stud finder with one light,

If Movies Were Macs

Long story short: Macs good, Windows bad. That is the usual gist of this column though I usually provide some substantial evidence for my claims. Since writing the same thing over and over can get a bit tedious (I feel for the folks who actually read this stuff, particularly for the guy who owns this site.

McGoofy's MacWorld Predictions: So Good You'll Want to Lick Them

Macworld Expo is coming up and my dog just died. Frankly I am busy missing my dog but I am going the extra mile for both of my loyal readers (yes, I love you Mom and Dad) and making bold predictions about the newness sure to be unveiled at Macworld.

Computers, Timesavers or Timekillers?

I'm sure the older readers remember the initial promise of computers: they'll save time, CPA's will be obsolete, you'll only work three hours a day, paper is dead, etc. I remember these predictions and I'd like to find the prognosticators and ship them to Antarctica where they can all predict just how long it's going to be until their blood turns to slush

The Greatest Computer Ever

Owning a computer is an invitation to waste copious amounts of time. Sure you save a lot of time by looking things up on the internet, but that is offset by incredibly time wasting sessions of solitaire (my belief is that apple wants people to actually use the computer, that's why solitaire isn't bundled with Macs).

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